“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for it is not the same river and he is not the same man.”
After 60 focused conversations, I have learnt so much
When I started my podcast 18 months ago, it came out of adversity.
I had an accident that left me unable to walk properly for six months. With more time than mobility, I decided to use that period to seek out conversations with negotiation experts, founders, leaders, and communication practitioners from around the world.
What I did not anticipate was where those conversations would lead.
They turned into deep learning partnerships. Unexpected friendships. Ongoing exchanges with people I respect enormously. They also revealed how many people are quietly making a real impact through their leadership and the way they communicate, without much noise or self-promotion. Simply trying to make a difference in the worlds they operate in.
That is who I speak to on the podcast. And through those conversations, I get a glimpse into how they think, decide, influence, and lead.
Today, as I reach 60 conversations, I want to say thank you to everyone who has taken the time to share their experience, insight, and hard-won learning with me and, by extension, with others who listen.
After more than 60 hours of focused conversation, my own perspective has shifted in some fundamental ways. Here are six that stand out.
I used to experience an attack on my opinion as an attack on me. I now see it as an invitation to understand someone else’s perspective.
Choice architecture matters more than I realised. I used to focus almost entirely on the substance of what I was saying. I now pay far more attention to sequencing, the order ideas and concepts are presented often determines whether they can be heard at all.
In negotiation, people often do not fully know what they want. They just know they want more than what is currently on the table. That changes how you listen and what you test for.
Used well, transparency is a source of strength.Not a weakness. Not over-sharing. But intentional clarity that builds trust and reduces unnecessary friction.
Being a “specialist negotiator” means very little unless you specify the terrain. Commercial. Internal. Conflict-laden. High-stakes. Cross-cultural. Context matters.
Be careful with “collaborative” negotiation. If it is driven by a fear of conflict rather than the ability to handle it, collaboration becomes avoidance dressed up as virtue.
These conversations have shaped how I think about leadership, influence, and what it actually takes to deal with difficult conversations well.
I am grateful for every one of them. And I am only getting started.